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Thank you for this post and to the commentersit shed a new light on the missing ingredient in our play. I have scoured the internet for some inkling of why our scenes sometimes result in frustration on her end and confusion on mine. Fantastic advice Mr. My wife has being telling me for years that my confidence is the thing she finds most sexy about me. If you are still at a loss, read the four commands from above.
She will concentrate on her task at hand and will be afforded the confidence that when the time arrives when she should be moving onto the next task, her Dominant will command it of her without her needing to realize it on her own. This scenario may not actually be overlooked, it may be outright avoided as it is difficult for most new Dominants to perform this simple deed.
Review the entire scenario in your mind before the actual scene. Follow through… State your command clearly one time and expect compliance.
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I agree. A submissive seeks explicit direction from her Dominant, the more explicit and direct the input the better. I found the article via google, and ed just to thank you. Extremely enlightening. This act or ritual is the rite of passage that must happen between husband and wife before they can really begin to build the relationship.
This hit it on the head. Just wanted to give this comment a big thumbs up. I agree completely that confidence is king. Avoid making commands in the form of questions. I am the one initiating this relationship. We have been programmed over the years, by society, of what equality is supposed to look like. Morning Mentor Chat Learn more.
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The Power Exchange satisfies two very important needs that married couples require from one another. I need to start slowly with him. I dont rewrite the older topics in order to bring them to the surface. I look forward to reading, and implementing, many more of your articles. Mr Fox. Simple Dominant Commands The Dominant needs to command certain actions that he desires of his submissive.
Some of the earlier posts contain some of the best information as they were written in real time during my own journey. What is a Formal Acceptance? When making commands be sure that they are clear and concise. But it is something that pays huge dividends to many more things that are even outside of your personal dynamic. Mr. Fox and lk as they discuss the relationship between Halloween and Dominance and submission. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete. Avoid regular conversation scenarios that include full descriptive sentences including a lot of adjectives, simply exclaim what you want her to do.
As part of sexual activity, the practice may be self performed or performed upon by dom sub chats. The more often you hear these types of commands coming from you and in your own voice, the more comfortable and natural this will become during play. Discussing this topic may seem elementary, however, accomplishing this simple task during play often proves more difficult for most.
I love this post so much, that I am going to read it to my husband. You are in control because she has chosen to submit to you and accept your commands not because she is any less than you so do not treat her a such.
Oftentimes the submissive is pleasing her Dominant and doing everything precisely as he desires and he feels no need to ask anything of her. Any one of these commands would work or all four of these commands given together would work even better. This insecurity is very real. Remember, there is never going to be a one size fits all scenario so use your best judgment. Begin with her hands… Many new submissives are unsure of what to do with their hands when their Dominants do not either physically restrain them or give them specific direction on what to do with them.
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The methodology positively builds a marriage and is never used to damage or weaken it, giving you all that edge without you or your marriage getting cut. If your submissive does not comply with your command immediately, a swift smack on the ass may be in order. And then another reason we thought this might be great is that many times this dynamic Well, I would say 90 plus percent of the time, this dynamic is brought into a marriage by the wife.
It can be challenging to become genuinely confident as a person.
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Her voice becomes softer, and her whole body language changes. You must be logged in to post a comment. Nipple Play is the stimulation of the nipple during sexual activity. Thank you! Silence During Sex is Deafening. The tone of your voice is important as well. Many men have spent years cherishing their wife or ificant other and placing them high upon a pedestal elevating them to a princess like status. Your submissive may be in such a state that she wants to comply with your command but may be physically unable.
While you are practicing speaking out loud be sure to focus on how your voice actually sounds, speak with confidence. This woman has become your tool to do with as you please for your own pleasure. The Formal Acceptance is the key to getting started to this dynamic. She is now your submissive, not your wife, and she derives pleasure from pleasing you and obeying your commands.
If lk is noncompliant in a scenario such as this, I may just move on, or I may choose to physically move her into my desired position. Read them aloud so that you can hear yourself making these commands for yourself. On this podcast, we are going to answer:. The submissive genuinely desires to please her Dominant and requires his specific direction in doing so.
Sometimes I may decide to back off the stimulation until she can once again comply with my commands on her own. If you have ever been curious about or have questions or concerns regarding fisting this is the episode for you. When you are not confident in yourself you will naturally speak in a lower, weaker, voice. Thanks again Andy. Like everything else, when learning something new start at the beginning and start small.
This happens when both partners are truly selfless in the other partners pleasure. When the Dominant gives dom sub chats command to his submissive and in doing so can hear the fear in his own voice it destroys his self confidence. How do you do the Formal Acceptance?
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Nipples can be worshiped, decorated, clamped, electrified, sucked and pinched. You should use a professional businesslike tone and be sure to avoid any pretentious, condescending or degrading tone toward your submissive. When you are alone actually say aloud, a few simple commands that you can use during play. Many vanilla men are much too silent during sex.
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Please note: This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Men in general have difficulty verbalizing their desires during play. Throughout the scene she will become bemused with thoughts of how she could bring him more satisfaction or if she is pleasing him at all.
A convenient private time and place for Dominants to practice giving and hearing themselves command their desires is in the car while driving to and from work. It is great that you have been reading the older posts. If you find it difficult dom sub chats awkward speaking to your submissive with authority, practice. Instead, think of the upcoming scene in a more macro, big picture, mindset. Towards the end of a scene LK is usually in such a state that she literally may not have control and functionality of her own body. These words say it perfectly.
This uncertainty will become a distraction for your submissive if you do not provide proper guidance. This circle is composed of the submissive obtaining her pleasure by pleasuring her Dominant and the Dominant deriving his pleasure by pleasuring his submissive.